I've heard it said when God moves you to the next level, it requires stepping outside of your comfort zone. Based on my experience, I find this to be true. I must be in the midst of elevating because He's really been daring me to be bold and do things that are uncomfortable for me.
On December 18th of 2022 I attended the early morning service at my church. I prefer this one if possible, mostly because there's not as many people in attendance. Towards the end of service the glory of God fell and Pastor Shawn said Jesus was walking the aisles. I could sense His presence for myself. What an honor! I remained focused on Him, however, there were many around me who weren't. As the first service flowed into the second service people were moving all around me, getting in and out of seats and asking me to let them pass by. I couldn't believe people were acting like this when Jesus was in our presence. As the worship team continued to flow, I continued to worship with them, praising my risen King. Holy Spirit was in my ear...nudging me to go to the alter. The sanctuary was packed and there were only two people at the alter... a lady friend of mine and the pastor. How could I deny His request? I gathered up all the courage I had and made my way to the alter where I stood with my focus on Jesus and just worshipped. This was the beginning of my spiritual life going to another level.
On January 10th of this year revival fire fell in our church and the Lord has poured His spirit out on us every evening since. Night two of the Open Door revival Jesus stood face to face with me as I stood at my seat and told me He was removing timidity and shyness from me. He later revealed to me that this is what is blocking my blessings. That following Sunday as the entire congregation sat praying, Holy Spirit told me to stand up, and continue to pray over the body of believers that were in the church. I looked around conflicted, my fleshly body wanting to remain seated going unnoticed but my spirit man wanting to rise to the task at hand. I kept my focus on Jesus as I stood up and was obedient to the Lord. It wasn't long before others were standing with me.
One night this past week I stood worshiping at my seat. Every time I opened my mouth and prayed scripture I could literally smell the fragrance of Heaven come out of my mouth. When they made the alter call, Holy Spirit told me to go. Again, I wanted to resist but couldn't. As I stood at the alter worshiping and praying I was consumed with the fire of God that was radiating off me. I was burning up.
I had never been baptized. Last January of 2022 I had signed up but the enemy came in like a flood and I was so sick I couldn't even get out of bed. When the opportunity would come back around I would believe the lies of the enemy telling me I was too fat to fit in the baptismal tub.
Last night, January 27th they once again offered the opportunity. I knew the Lord had been nudging me for the past year. Almost three months ago I began a health plan that has since led to me losing almost fifty pounds. That lie the enemy kept telling me wasn't going to work this time. However, that shyness that has been hindering me my entire life tried to take over. I thank God for ordering my steps, sitting me next to my dear friend Julie last night. Had it not been for her, I can't say I'd have made it up there.
Up until about the age of 25 I weighed 100 pounds. I was very small and very thin. I slowly gained about ten to twenty pounds at one point, going from a size three to a size four jeans. I'm sure most of you know, that's still very tiny. My boyfriend at the time, who I'd been with for many years confessed to cheating on me using the excuse "I had gotten fat". I didn't see myself as fat at that moment, however, in no time the weight just kept coming out of no where. I quickly went from 100 pounds to 350 pounds in no time at all. No matter how much I dieted and exercised I couldn't lose five pounds to save my life. I went to the doctor, seeking advice but they had no idea what was going on.
This weight gain wasn't the only abnormal thing going on with my body. I also began to have female issues preventing me from conceiving a child. In addition, it caused many self-esteem issues. I failed to see myself through the loving eyes of my Father who created me in His own image. I sold myself short, believing men didn't like bigger women. Instead of allowing a man to love me for who I am, I quickly presented what I had to offer in financial and worldly items, and the life I could provide for them. How sad.
When God woke me up in November of 2020 I quickly lost about forty pounds after going through deliverance. I maintained that weight until recently when I began to lose even more. I'm believing God for complete healing and restoration of the fertility issue and I know He's going to bless me with a family of my own.
Last night after being baptized I was speaking to one of the ladies from my church. I was telling her the story of my ex-boyfriend that called me fat.... saying it's like he put a curse on me. And that's when the revelation came! That's exactly what happened.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 18:21 The power of life and death is in the tongue.
The words we speak have power whether you believe it or not. Every negative word spoken against yourself or someone else causes destruction. When God created everything the Bible tells us He spoke it into existence.
James 3:8-10 - But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.
Wow! I break every curse and every idle word spoken over you in the name of Jesus. I cancel that contract made with the enemy himself and speak life and blessings over you. I uproot every demonic seed planted and replace it with seeds of goodness in Jesus name. May you speak blessings over yourself and those surrounding you. I pray you think twice before speaking that negative word over your friend or before complaining about your situation. Instead, give God glory and thank Him for what He's not only already done, but for what is to come. Speak that thing you're believing God to do into existence. I declare that you are blessed and highly favored. I declare you are the head and not the tail, above and never beneath. You are blessed coming and going. I declare your bank account is over flowing, your business is beyond prosperous. That cancer is gone in Jesus name. Your son is drug free! Your children are serving the Lord.
Father, I thank you for every thing you're doing in my life. I thank you that I am bold and timidity no longer has a hold on me. I thank you that I am your beautiful daughter. I thank you for teaching me to love myself and to see myself as you see me. I thank you for the man you brought into my life who sees me through your eyes, who loves me for the Proverbs 31 woman you've created me to be. I thank you that I am not fat, but fearfully and wonderfully made. I thank you that I am completely healed and restored. I thank you for my children. I thank you for your mercy, your grace, your love, and your sacrifice. I love you!
If you feel blessed by this and want to share your thoughts, have a question, or just want to say hi, feel free to contact me using the Contact page in the links at the top of the page. If you enjoy reading this blog and don't want to miss a post you can subscribe and receive an email alert using the same link on the Contact page.
If you need prayer or have prayer requests feel free to use the Prayer Request Page. I will pray over you and your requests daily, knowing God hears my prayers.
If you have a testimony you wish to share with me or others viewing please use the Testimony Page to submit your testimony. Be sure to check whether it can be made public or not.
May God bless you!
Holly W <3