For the majority of my life I've been in long term relationships and hadn't spent much of my life single. When God opened my eyes in November of 2020 I immediately broke up with the man I was dating and we parted ways.
In the months that followed, I ran into some confusion regarding different relationships. I was believing God was going to restore an old relationship and when it didn't go as I had thought, I got involved with someone else. I was going through a lot of drama and it was taking me out of character, making me act in ways that were nothing like who I am. Finally, I had enough and knew I had to hand everything over to God.
As I sat watching a church service on the evening of May 1, 2021, I had a thought enter my mind to sit down and write myself a letter. I was still learning and didn't realize it was the Holy Spirit leading me to do so. I sat down and began to write...
You are beautiful. God loves you more than any man ever will. You are an amazing woman and you are so worthy. You are one in a million and you deserve so much more than you've EVER received from a man before. You deserve everything you offer. You love with all your heart and you love unconditionally. You forgive quickly, forget, and let go and turn the other cheek.
Holly, you deserve a man who will treat you like his queen. You deserve a man who desires to be with you because he's in love with you. You deserve a man who will only put Jesus above you.
God created you from someone's rib and God is waiting to bless you with this man. You must let go of ALL that is holding you back. He has seen your tears and heard your cries. God says let go my daughter and give it to me. I have a life of blessings I want to pour out into you.
I'm waiting for you and so is your Boaz.
I love you!
I quickly let go of everything and everyone. My life and my focus revolved around Jesus. I was still holding on to a vision of restoration with an ex, but I gave it to God and trusted Him, because only He could bring that back to full life. I left Pennsylvania in July and by the end of September, I knew I was headed to Florida...alone!
Two weeks later, and two days prior to my departure, as I was closing up that chapter, I received a phone call from a man I use to have a friendship with three years prior. Our friendship was short lived. He had found me on a dating site at a time when I was closing this very same chapter the first time. I was not interested in being in a relationship at the time (don't ask me why I was even on a dating site) but we had a good friendship and he was always offering me good advice, looking out for me, and just being a good person. Sadly, our friendship ended and we lost contact.
Here he was, three years later, calling me again. I know many won't understand this, but, mere seconds before he called me I could sense my phone was going to ring and it was going to be in some way a spiritual related call. I could feel it in my spirit. Our friendship picked up right where it left off and we continued to chat with each other often. I was in Florida alone, didn't know many people, had no friends, and God had removed a lot of the people from my past from my life.
As I was attending my new church I was seeing couples who loved the Lord together, worshipped together, and prayed together. I still had no desire to get involved in a relationship, however, I was seeing what I wanted when the time was right. I had decided that I was not going to get involved with any man that wasn't the man God had just for me. It was senseless to waste either of our time and to create attachments that would be hard to break later down the road.
On October 26th my pastor was preaching on 1 Corinthians 5. The pastor was saying that no matter what he’s dealing with he goes to his wife and she to him. She’s the first person he tells everything to and that’s how a marriage should be. He said that if you are not loving your spouse the way Christ loves us the devil will send a counterfeit. If you’re not meeting their needs physically, spiritually, mentally, and so forth, all around, the enemy will send someone who will meet that need. How true that is. I almost started crying around that time because I desire a husband like that. I was ready to share my life with someone but it had to be the husband God had for me.
Pastor told us single people to have a conversation with God and tell him our hearts desires and to be specific. He knows what we want, but He wants us to have a conversation with Him. That night as I drove home, I had that conversation with God. With tears streaming down my face I realized I desired a partner more than I knew. I told God I want a man who is so in love with me, who sees me the way God sees me, who loves me for who I am, who will put no one except God and our children before me, who I find attractive and meet my desires. I want a husband who is my best friend, that I can tell anything and everything to and know he won’t judge me, I want a husband whose relationship is so tight that nothing can come in between us. I want a husband who is on fire for God and loves Him. Little did I know....that man was already in my life.
Mine and this man's friendship grew and as time went on we continued to get to know each other. I enjoyed sharing stories of our past with each other and getting to know who he was. I realized he was a really good man and even though I was holding out hope that God was still going to restore that past relationship with my ex, I began to see qualities in him that I wanted in a man.
Exactly twelve days after having my conversation with God, this man and I were on the phone. I heard the shock in his voice as he said "Holly, you're going to be my wife". He was just as surprised as I was. NO, NO, NO.... Nope! I'm not coming into agreement with that was my response. After about a minute of resistance I literally felt my heart soften as Holy Spirit whispered in my ear, "don't be so quick to speak". I said okay God, you're going to have to show me!
In the weeks to come there was so much warfare going on in my mind. The enemy sent countless men into my life, all of whom I knew for certain were not sent by God. I resisted and resisted and resisted, all the while falling in love with this man as I continued to truly get to know him. God showed me time and time and time again this man was for me, even sending a prophet to tell me. But I continued to doubt as the enemy would steal the seeds God was planting. There were many times I did things that would push a normal person away but he was patient with me. He knew in his heart that I was the woman God created for him.
Finally the walls of resistance fell down, and I knew in my heart God had taken this man's rib to create me. He was every single thing I asked God for that night and so much more. He is so perfect for me in every way and I am loved in return the way that I love. Every day we pray together throughout the day, he is my best friend, loves me so unconditionally, but above all else he loves God. We decree and declare that God will forever be the center of our marriage, our lives, our businesses, our homes, our finances, our ministry, and our family because a triple braided chord is not easily broken.
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord". This man has found me...twice! When he came into my life in 2019, I was in no way ready to receive this beautiful gift from God. Had I not encountered him in 2019, I would have never given him the time of day when he came back into my life this last time.
I recently found the love letter I wrote that night and felt led to share it. When I quit focusing on finding a man and put my focus on Jesus, the Lord surprised me suddenly with all of my heart's desires. He knows what is best and his timing is always perfect.
If you're expecting God to bring someone special into your life, I encourage you to focus on Him. Have that same conversation with Him that I did, tell Him your heart's desires. What He did for me, He will do for you!
I love you and pray that God blesses you with the desires of your heart. If you'd like to receive new blog post notifications you can subscribe. If you'd like to leave a prayer request or a testimony please feel free to do so.
May God bless you!
Holly W <3